Today i have been more insulted and offended than i have ever been in my entire life.
Today i got accused of making up everything that had happened to me, that it was all a scheme.
I burst into tears to which i promptly got the response - "those tears won't work on me!"
Those tears were not for you.
Those tears were for all the pain i have endured because of the abuse i suffered as a child.
Those tears were for all the times i had self harmed because i have been unable to deal with said abuse.
Those tears were for the suicide attempts that i attempted becuase i could not deal with said abuse.
Those tears were for my family, and the pain that we have endured together because of the said abuse.
Those tears were for all the other people like me, who, for fear of recompence, do not report their abuse, and suffer in silence.
Those tears were for the fear i have inside me that people will judge me, and have done, and will continue to do so.
Those tears were real tears.
Do not DARE to suggest i would make something like this up. For this is not a life i would have chosen.
Thats all i have to say, for it is all i can say.
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Writing something so significant as this post can help others also. I truly admire you for opening up.
ReplyDeleteBless you, CJ xx
I stumbled across this blog a few weeks ago, I have read all of the posts and I must say, at the risk of sounding offensive, that everything that is written is very self involved, and almost narcissistic.
ReplyDeleteI must also say that I find some of the things written to be quite conflicted. You talk of shame and guilt and embaressment over your past yet you seem to share it very freely.
I have had very similar experiences to you, judging from what I have read. I was 12-14 when I had my rather horrible experiences, and I am now 24. I feel I have delt with it well and have been determined to not let everything eat me up. I do not bathe in my own depression, and I do think that some people do find comfort in being sad.
I just basically wanted to say that if you really want to get better and escape all of this then write about something else! Think new, move on. I know it will always be there but this, this will not ever help yourself or anyone else.
Katrina.
I so admire you for posting this - I hope your tears won't be in vain
ReplyDeleteKatrina - I hope you can understand that different people deal with things in different ways and your rather judgemental comments are at complete odds with this blogger and her journey, congratulations on you being where you are, but please have compassion and understanding that not everyone walks the same path
Kelly - Moving and honest as always. I hope that you are finding strength in your writing and the comments it receives.
ReplyDeleteKatrina, Well done for finding the strength and courage to move on with your life with determination. However, appreciate that not everyone is able to do so as easily. If writing openly about ones experiences is the step they need to find peace then they should be free and able to do so.
I can only hope that Kelly continues her writing and help anyone who happens to find her blog sharing similar experiences.
This is not meant as a critisism of your comment, simply an alternative view.